SURVIVING A LOSS

Udom John Udom (U.J.U) is a young man in his early 30s. He is a Lawyer, Pastor and Businessman. A little over a year ago, he was engaged to be married but somehow, his fiancee was violently murdered by some unknown gunmen just about three months to their wedding. How did he feel then? How was he able to survive? Read to find out answers to these questions and more.

BST: May we meet you

U.J.U: My name is Udom John Udom, I come from Oruk Anam Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom state. I am the first son and second child in my family. I practice law by profession, I pastor a church (Christ Believers’ Church) in Victoria Island, Lagos, and I also do one or two businesses. I was born on October 4 1981. My hobbies are travelling and watching football.

BST: Tell us how you got born again

U.J.U: I have been in the faith, can I say right from when I was  born. I was so fortunate to be born into a family that my mum was completely born again, so because I was close to her, I had no choice than to be born again. So right from when I came to the knowledge of good  and bad I have always been in the faith. Though during my adolescent years I used to go astray but the most important thing is that I have always been in the faith

BST: that means you’ve had to rededicate your life to Christ?

U.J.U: yes, rededication has come up from time to time. Most times, when I’ve gone astray, when I feel I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, when I don’t study the word, pray, at the end of the day, I just feel it is necessary for me to rededicate my life. But by God’s special grace, I’m still in the faith.

BST: What is your vision in life and what are your core values?

U.J.U: I’ll start by talking about my vision. By God’s special grace, I am a pastor. I specifically have a vision of raising a prayer tower. I am primarily called into the ministry of intercession. I really have a vision of raising a prayer tower that men will be praying 24hrs everyday for different nations, persons and different communities. In the same vision I also envision a situation whereby I and my beloved wife will go into the medical world. I want a situation whereby we will have hospitals where people will be treated free of charge and medical services will be provided for people. Anybody who feels he or she is frustrated as a result of his or her sickness can come over there and in the prayer tower we will be able to take care of this person, help the person pay the fees, so that at the end of the day if the person is going to die, he or she can die a good death, not hopelessly. He or she will make it to the kingdom of God. So that is the vision I have been pursuing and I look forward to dedicating it very soon.

So primarily, God told me raise me a prayer tower about 15 years ago and give me 100% of your Isaac .it’s just of recent that I’ve decided to stop for some time, actually, every Friday  I’ve always had Prayer tower vigils, waiting on the Lord till Saturday and sometimes I and my partners in Nigeria come together. So basically my work is to pray.

BST: And your values?

U.J.U: I go for the value of mercy so much. I believe in everything that has to do with mercy. I believe one can fall, after falling one can rise again. I believe in forgiveness, I forgive easily. Everything about me starts  with mercy and ends with mercy. I have other values such as integrity, honesty and others, but for me, mercy is it.

BST: you are a lawyer, pastor and businessman, what would you say has helped you achieve much?

U.J.U: prayer and favour. Basically it’s just the gift of favour and I know I spend some time in praying.

BST: tell us how your late fiancée died.

U.J.U: It was a very pathetic situation. It happened during the Easter period of 2011. Her name was Gifted, we had agreed to move ahead as at that April to the extent that I told my younger sister to pay her family a visit in order to familiarize herself with the family that I was going to go into in no distant time.

I was in the office when she sent a text message to me which I still have on my phone. She precisely said “if God wants me to be the mother of your children, wife, I think I have no option than to do that.” When I got the text, I called her and we laughed over it. 5 minutes time, she went out to get some fruits, in the course of exchanging her money to get the fruits, some hired assassins shot her from a short range. She slumped and they fired the second and third bullets at her. My sister was there but she was so fortunate because the bullets almost caught her. Everybody ran away and there was no one to help

She was later taken to Port Harcourt where a miracle happened: after the bullets were removed from her breast, she said she wanted to make two statements, that she would have been in heaven but something stopped her from making it to the kingdom of God. The  first was that a friend of hers offended her while in medical school. Though afterward the lady came to plead with her, she forgave her, but not completely. So she was told to come back to the world and of course seek for mercy by telling the lady that she had been forgiven.

Secondly, she asked them to inform me that the marriage can’t work, that I should accept things the way they are and move on with my life. That was all, a couple of minutes later, she gave up the ghost.

BST: How did you feel then?

U.J.U: I think first of all, I was not just confused, I was almost in a coma. My health deteriorated and I could not coordinate myself anymore. This is because Gifted was so precious to me, more or less like my younger sister. She was calm, gentle, understanding and she loved the vision I conceived and was ready to run with it. She was just everything a young man would desire. So when the ugly incident happened, I felt I had come to the end of the world. I bless God that I have come out of that shock, I’m pursuing other things for the growth of the ministry and I’m strong once again.

BST: Did you at anytime feel that God was unfair at that time?

Not at all. I felt that maybe the devil doesn’t want me to get the best. That was my feeling because I had been in one or two relationships before and that was the best relationship I have ever found myself. I found myself with a woman who was not materialistic, who understands and loves you for who you are and a woman who loved work. She kept asking “are you at work, how have you been ale to help the organization aspire higher?” She was not demanding, never talked to me recklessly, so I just felt I was shortchanged by the devil. But I had hope that I would definitely get out of it and be strong once again.

BST: how did the loss affect your dream?

U.J.U: It was like a distortion. It was as if the dream we had came to an end. Before the ugly incident, we had agreed to start to start something the following month, so when it happened, the time-table was distorted. The plans came to a hold, whereas the vision or the dream was still on.

BST: what was your survival strategy?

U.J.U: It was basically thee Word of God. I took solace in the passage that says David encouraged himself in the Lord. I was able to hold unto that word, put it into practice and it worked for me at the end of the day.

BST: what one thing did you learn from the incident?

U.J.U: I learned that I need to be prepared, that death could happen to anybody, anybody. We never envisaged death for the next forty years, but it came earlier so it means one has to be prepared when it comes, to meet his master.  It also challenged me to work harder and also realize that I don’t have the whole time here in this world. I’m happy she died a good death; she is resting in the bosom of the Lord Jesus Christ.

BST: Are you into another relationship?

U.J.U: Though that is personal, but I’ve made up my mind that before the end of this year I’ll be a married man, I’m so sure, I’m very sure. It might be in a month, two months time, but I’m so sure I’ll be married.

BST: Your advice to the young man or woman who is hurting?

U.J.U: they should take solace in the Lord, forge ahead with their life. I’m not saying you shouldn’t mourn, but there should be a limit to that. Just move ahead with your life and ask God what he wants you to do. Do it very well, learn from the past, and move on with your life.